It looks like you’re a Validator.

What does this mean?

Based on your responses, you probably have a solid sense of self worth in most areas of your life. When certain things don’t go to plan, though, your self worth may be challenged. You try to hold firm to your boundaries, but you can waver from time to time.

What does it look like?

Do you often feel confident in your choices, but like to check in with people for their validation? Picture this. Your partner sends a text message cancelling dinner. You’re already dressed and ready to go so you call BS on that, texting back that it’s not ok to cancel at the last minute.

But then you need validation. Did I do the right thing? Was I too harsh? Is it just me or is this kind of behaviour a joke? You pull out all the stops justifying your action – which was being clear and reasonable about your boundaries – for your friend to confirm.

You’re on your way to setting and enforcing strong boundaries to protect your energy and wellbeing. But the training wheels have only just come off, so you’re a bit wobbly and need a bit of double-checking.

What can I do?

Because you’re likely aware of what areas you’re being challenged in, you’re in a good place.

Once you start to practise changing your automatic behaviour, you’ll feel more confident on the bike. It will only get easier over time.

With some support you could improve your chances of even greater success and happiness.

Quick tip

Stick some affirmations to your mirror or set them as reminders on your phone. Think: ‘I back myself’, ‘I’ve got this’, ‘I make good decisions’ or ‘I stick to my boundaries’.

Instead of texting that go-to friend, take a quick walk around the block to distract yourself or put some music on and think about something else until the feeling passes.

You might also find a relaxed chat with a counsellor useful. Grab a cuppa, take a breath and book your first FREE online session.


When I originally met Amanda I did not expect to embark on such a journey. Over the past two years I have learned so much more about myself, set boundaries in my life I didn’t even know I could set and she also helped me view the world from a much healthier perspective.

Female, 26

Amanda is fantastic. She has a beautiful approach to help me cut through what is in my head to find the simple truths that can otherwise be hard to see. Over multiple appointments, she has taken me on a journey to understand myself much more deeply and empowered my self worth.

Female, 24

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